How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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