im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize