hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
