you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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