We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
