Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?

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  (617): My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned? http://tfl.nu/bm6r
  Replies (125) Good night (7796) Bad night (2549)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore

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  (405): Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore http://tfl.nu/6icm
  Replies (27) Good night (584) Bad night (3331)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.

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  (615): In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky. http://tfl.nu/u0v1
  Replies (34) Good night (4267) Bad night (972)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life

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  (847): just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life http://tfl.nu/dyz8
  Replies (8) Good night (2793) Bad night (942)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.

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  (832): Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is. http://tfl.nu/odjy
  Replies (9) Good night (4111) Bad night (1249)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.

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  (240): All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson. http://tfl.nu/a7nh
  Replies (7) Good night (2394) Bad night (853)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk

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  (203): Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk http://tfl.nu/skkt
  Replies (16) Good night (723) Bad night (1406)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.

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  (512): I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out. http://tfl.nu/qokz
  Replies (4) Good night (898) Bad night (651)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.

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  (561): I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover. http://tfl.nu/c2xb
  Replies (11) Good night (361) Bad night (1162)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.

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  (301): Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you. http://tfl.nu/00du
  Replies (1) Good night (406) Bad night (702)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.

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  (920): If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it. http://tfl.nu/moud
  Replies (7) Good night (814) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.

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  (518): Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus. http://tfl.nu/2yyd
  Replies (1) Good night (784) Bad night (286)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.

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  (+44): American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help. http://tfl.nu/w0ih
  Replies (1) Good night (352) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.

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  (585): He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to. http://tfl.nu/t8ue
  Replies (3) Good night (757) Bad night (219)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  I'm home now if you wanna come over.

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.

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  (785): I'm home now if you wanna come over. (913): Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there. http://tfl.nu/5bkq
  Replies (0) Good night (422) Bad night (219)

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