you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
