Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
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She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
What drink are we having for lunch?
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How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH