doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
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Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
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I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime