Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher

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(214): View more from Texas

he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???

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(740): View more from Ohio

ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.

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(208): View more from Idaho

Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.

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These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in

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(803): View more from South Carolina

If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat

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(913): View more from Kansas

the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.

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(812): View more from Indiana

I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.

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