Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.

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  (314): Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot. http://tfl.nu/bk2l
  Replies (8) Good night (1499) Bad night (619)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.

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  (434): There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically. http://tfl.nu/76cj
  Replies (25) Good night (14264) Bad night (1045)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy

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  (248): just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy http://tfl.nu/dtdn
  Replies (17) Good night (5094) Bad night (601)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!

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  (417): true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever! http://tfl.nu/5efq
  Replies (14) Good night (1034) Bad night (2833)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.

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  (937): I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something. http://tfl.nu/k1os
  Replies (22) Good night (701) Bad night (5305)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.

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  (859): I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze. http://tfl.nu/hayj
  Replies (17) Good night (842) Bad night (5193)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now

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  (401): 5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now http://tfl.nu/dpww
  Replies (18) Good night (2322) Bad night (1869)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.

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  (717): Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/70l7
  Replies (10) Good night (4977) Bad night (1004)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.

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  (804): Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me. http://tfl.nu/bct9
  Replies (4) Good night (1295) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex

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  (403): Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex http://tfl.nu/ohy9
  Replies (13) Good night (2193) Bad night (741)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.

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  (585): Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello. http://tfl.nu/2jqd
  Replies (6) Good night (881) Bad night (1765)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.

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  (918): My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo. http://tfl.nu/6dok
  Replies (3) Good night (1017) Bad night (448)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"

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  (602): you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food" http://tfl.nu/tcxp
  Replies (2) Good night (1134) Bad night (330)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.

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  (562): We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt. http://tfl.nu/27nr
  Replies (2) Good night (746) Bad night (365)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL

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  (715): I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL http://tfl.nu/uqw9
  Replies (2) Good night (352) Bad night (417)

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