don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.