Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.

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  (732): used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick (732): i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore. http://tfl.nu/4czg
  Replies (59) Good night (751) Bad night (2401)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...

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  (509): I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber... http://tfl.nu/856a
  Replies (63) Good night (872) Bad night (4225)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?

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  (309): My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do? http://tfl.nu/tx29
  Replies (46) Good night (8943) Bad night (1336)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.

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  (250): you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in. http://tfl.nu/ux6h
  Replies (7) Good night (1291) Bad night (3026)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.

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  (931): He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man. http://tfl.nu/ct9i
  Replies (31) Good night (7062) Bad night (1102)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.

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  (937): And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/r7zp
  Replies (12) Good night (1287) Bad night (3189)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.

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  (601): So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment. http://tfl.nu/ledy
  Replies (6) Good night (2970) Bad night (923)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.

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  (651): You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME. http://tfl.nu/uum6
  Replies (4) Good night (2124) Bad night (1191)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.

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  (916): I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745. http://tfl.nu/vvre
  Replies (4) Good night (1400) Bad night (925)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.

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  (+44): You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4. http://tfl.nu/tyhh
  Replies (2) Good night (2045) Bad night (753)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.

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  (573): You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night. http://tfl.nu/alam
  Replies (6) Good night (1395) Bad night (562)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.

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  (940): Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them. http://tfl.nu/2war
  Replies (13) Good night (711) Bad night (1281)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.

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  (402): There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP. http://tfl.nu/d9id
  Replies (3) Good night (474) Bad night (387)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.

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  (262): I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul. http://tfl.nu/9aqu
  Replies (6) Good night (773) Bad night (510)
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"

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  (915): You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!" http://tfl.nu/qdea
  Replies (1) Good night (483) Bad night (243)

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