and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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