look no pants
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
