garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
