If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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