His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I think I am morally bankrupt
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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