8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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