So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
