i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
