what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I had to cum in my sink.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
