So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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