Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
