i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
