I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
