Grow some girl-balls and come out already
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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