it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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