so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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