then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
