I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
