thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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