i wish my penis had a tongue
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Sorry about my life...
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
