Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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