god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
