our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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