I will die if light touches me.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
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You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
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Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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