Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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