On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize