so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
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Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize