If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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