she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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