I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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