her vagine was all disorganized.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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