So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
vagina is talking i cant
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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