Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
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oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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