so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
