so that wasnt chicken after all
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
