Pappa wants mamma naked
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
