On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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