So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize