U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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