Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
