Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
