I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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