let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
