There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
