took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Banned from zoo.
Again?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
