It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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