i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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