problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
