My friends, they love my intelligence
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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