So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
