Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
