I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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