Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
