Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
