Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I need to calm my uterus...
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
