We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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