i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
