Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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